jermalism: Abandonment Issues: Mile Of Memories House

The Mile Of Memories House, or MOM, as we call it, appears to have been abandoned a very long time ago, and is located just down the road from the Victoria Methodist Church. The grass was thigh high on this day in early June of 2011, and vines were swarming the house like a posse of thugs, swallowing the storage shed attached to the house whole. Several empty wine and liquor bottles were strewn about the floor of this portion of the house. Under an open sky, through the holes in the ceiling, I picked up one of those bottles, it was a 1790 Sandeman Cream Sherry. We could hear something scurrying around upstairs, which obviously made us nervous, but we slowly pushed forward. Ninja and her brother RJPN followed behind me, commenting on the nasty stench, the horrid wallpaper, and the random spare tires around the house. And of course, they pondered, what the hell is that noise upstairs?

Upstairs, the noise grew louder, and faster. Of course, it was a family of raccoons in a back bedroom, and the mother was angry and ready to protect her young. I quickly slammed the door shut so as to allow us to explore the second floor safely. We didn't really find anything up there that one would expect to find. No bed frames or dressers, or clothing. But instead we found pipes and hoses and crates and even more tires. A stack of magazines drew me in for a closer look. National Geographic Vol. 137, No. 2 was dated February 1970, and The Farm Quarterly that I picked up from the top of the of the pile was dated Autumn 1960, and priced at fifty cents. Severe water damage had ravaged portions of the second floor and mould was thick in the air.

Upon completion of the exploration, I told my comrades to head outside. I waited a minute for them to exit, and then re-opened the door, so as not to trap the raccoons in a tomb in the room. I then booked it outside and we continued on our journey, which involved more explorations, including the Havelock Horse House and The Colonel, and a blissful two-week cottage getaway.

And so with no further adieu, to the theme of Trailer Park Boys quotes, I give you the Mile Of Memories House.

the way she fucking goes

i had $119 in bottles

you lied to the guy in the chair

its too many nawmsayin's

i was getting changed

keep y'all eyes on dis yuhh yuhh

the winds of shit

the liquor makes me see things clear

What in the fuck!

Mr. Lahey, Julian's out here lifting weights with his shirt off and wants you to come have a drink with him.

you're the dumbest cop on the force

it could happen to you cause it happened to me

i ain't got no candy for you! no candy!

Here's Cyrus!

Everybody does that, all right? Carpenters, electricians, dishwashers, floor cleaners, lawyers, doctors, fuckin' politicians, CBC employees, principals, people who paint the lines on the fuckin' roads, get stoned, it'll be fun, get to work!