Wednesday, March 10, 2010
hello my name is jerm and i'm an alcoholic
i'm not the go to meetings sober and drink 6 coffees kind of alcoholic, i'm the just got back from the liquor store kind of alcoholic. alcoholism comes up a lot in my writing process, i was entrenched in it right from birth. in fact, my middle name Aaron, was derived specifically from the acronym AA. my parents split up shortly after i was born and my mom eventually remarried a man who was once my sperm donor father's AA sponsor. i have been a daily pot smoker for over 20 years, since before i graduated elementary school, but it has never been an issue, just a seemingly natural part of the day. ganja has never caused me harm or raised danger flags to me. alcohol however, is capable of destroying me, i'm becoming all too well aware, yet still mixing those rum and diet soda water concoctions. i don't know why i feel inclined to further expose this shameful truth, but i do. it is the one personal issue that i discuss regularly in my work that is not merely trapped in the past or from a reflective perspective. it's a war i'm still in, and it doesn't seem like i'm fighting a very good fight. honestly, i'm very afraid of sobriety.